Q3 presents extraordinary difficulties for some students who have a paucity of emotional vocabulary to describe the ‘thoughts and feelings’ in a provided source text. For that reason, I’m focusing today on how to answer this question in order to get full marks.
Follow these ten tips to get full marks and you will see your writing improve no end. Although the source text changes each year, the question remains the same.
Explain some of the thoughts and feelings the writer has as…
Because the question and the markscheme are always the same, you have a very good opportunity to really get behind the question in order to hit top marks. Source Three is a recount text that often focuses on an event or occasion.
So where do you start?
- Explore the markscheme. When you really know what you are being asked and you really know what the examiner is looking for, you have a great opportunity to do exactly that. I won’t tell you about the row I once had with my night school photography teacher when he couldn’t explain how he was going to assess us. “How will I ever know what to do?” I shouted. Though I shouldn’t have lost my temper, it is the markscheme which governs what you get marked on. Everything outside the markscheme is as beautiful and yet as useless as writing a Physics equation as your response. We simply can’t mark it.
So what are you being marked on?
Two things mainly. Your quotation. Your understanding of the way the writer thinks and feels about the events.
You’re also being assessed on your ability to explain your understanding, and your ability to write in detail about the writer’s thoughts and feelings.
Now you know what the examiner is looking for, you know what to do. Root your answer solidly in the text and write about the thoughts and feelings.
Some people still write about great stuff that’s not in the markscheme. As it says in the Examiners’ Report:
Candidates should understand, that for this question, comments on the writer’s linguistic choices and references to the thoughts and feelings of the reader are not relevant , nor are they rewarded.
Every year, people write about similes and metaphors, powerful verbs, adjectives… but you need to imagine that as being as pointless as drawing a picture. It’s nice, but we can’t mark it. Not only that, it takes you away from the main focus and wastes valuable time.
- Focus on the text. Read it with two pencils. One colour is for “might include” and covers everything you think about in your first reading. The second is a colour to go over the top for “must include” that you will pick out on your second reading. The process by which an A* student narrows down quotes is a kind of filtering process. They do it instinctively, sifting through and narrowing down. We want to make that process explicit and clear. Underline absolutely everything that is about thoughts and absolutely everything that suggests a feeling. Don’t skimp. Number the paragraphs and make sure you don’t do what most do – only focusing on the first couple of paragraphs. Make sure you are as thorough with the final paragraph as you are with the first. If it’s a thought or feeling, underline it.
- Now that you have identified all your quotes (you should find that you have between twenty and forty big pieces of text) you can check that you are covering all the paragraphs. Don’t start in a thorough manner and miss out the last paragraph. Often you will find that the event described falls into a BDA kind of thing. Before – During – After. Ask yourself: what do they think/feel before? What do they think/feel during? What do they think/feel after? Add a B, D or an A beside each quote. You will have a lot of stuff to divide up – but at this point, better too much than too little. Start to mark out which quotes will go in each section. You’re aiming for three or four paragraphs, but sometimes, the BDA doesn’t fall evenly. If you have more B, add a second Before paragraph. Likewise for During or After.
- This is where you can now start writing. You want to start with a brief paraphrase and a focus on “the writer feels…” or “the writer thinks…” then you’ve got a couple of methods to explore. My first method is a triple whammy of quotes in a row. Taking the November 2014 Higher Tier source 3, and the question: “Explain some of the thoughts and feelings the writer has as she cycles home” I would start by picking out the idea of competition in paragraph 1 that is picked up in paragraph 6. I want to be sure to get those quotes from across the whole essay.
“One of the major ideas the writer explores as she rides home is her feeling of being in a race, that she “had to overtake” the Northgate boys, “it was a race, though they didn’t know it.” By the end, she’s elated: “I’d beaten everyone.”
This way, I am showing I can pick out and manipulate quotes from across the whole passage. One of the things many candidates do is focus too much on the opening paragraphs and run out of steam by the final few. This way, I’m showing I can handle the whole passage and track through, helping me get that appropriate quotation mark.
- I also want to show that I really understand the writer’s feelings and thoughts. The best way to do this is to put them into my own words and explain what that means. For instance, I’m going to pick up on “I felt unassailable”.
“When the writer says ‘I felt unassailable’, she’s telling us that she felt utterly invincible, like nothing can stop her. There is nothing that can stand in her way. It’s a feeling of absolute power and triumph as she rides her bike home, particularly as she passes the Vespa, although she does admit that it had ‘slowed down’, she still feels triumphant.”
You can see that I am once again using the triangular three-point method, putting her feelings in three different ways to show I really understand them.
- I can also explain what I can make sense out of when I read something. For instance, when the writer says, “I didn’t play in sheds any more now that I went to Northgate.” I can infer that she feels too grown up, perhaps, to ‘play’, that she has moved on from her childhood games. Ironically, she still enjoys the childhood freedoms of riding her bike home, but she feels she is too mature for these things any more. “I was a grammar school girl”, she says. What I’m trying to do here is explain what this detail suggests to me about her thoughts and feelings. Again, I’m trying to show I understand the text.
- I’m also going to focus in on the poetic. Often, when a writer chooses their most elaborate words, their most delightful vocabulary, I feel that this is the point at which they are really enjoying themselves. For instance, in the passage for this paper, I notice she is also very poetic about the weather, personifying it. It is as if she feels the weather is another of her opponents, that even the powerful wind which “threatened to lift” her beret off her head, or the “icy rain” are unable to stand in her way. They don’t count. They don’t spoil her enjoyment of her ride home.
- To prepare for this question means I need a super-size vocabulary to explain emotions. For this, I’m going to start by preparing with a word list, using a thesaurus. I’m just going to list as many emotions as I can, knowing I can also modify them with very, completely or a little et cetera to show that I understand the degree to which she feels something. For instance, I could write “she feels happy” on her way home. But it’s more than that. It’s more than “very happy.” I want to change my word and put “exhilarated” or “elated”. This is where I’m going to use a thesaurus to start with, but only to refresh my memory on words I already know; I absolutely do not want to put in a clever-sounding word that doesn’t mean what I think it means; I’m not going to write “she feels ebullient” or “she feels zingy” because, well, I’m not using those words properly and they sound bad. I’m not going to say “she feels delighted”, though I might say “she’s in high spirits” because that’s the kind of thing I might say in real life. I want to absolutely stick to emotional vocabulary that I know the meaning of. And, if I get stuck, I can say the opposite. “She’s not weighed down by anything.”
- When I’m writing, I’m going to do my best to ensure I have four or five mini-quotes in each paragraph, and that I have four paragraphs in that time. Three’s my minimum on either. I’m really going to focus on writing in depth and writing to explain the feelings the writer has, trying to tackle the “why” she thinks or feels this in my explanation.
- At the end, I’m going to check that I have probably about 15 mini-quotes through the essay and that I have not neglected any section or paragraph if I need to write about them. I’m going to look for the subtleties. Then I’m going to tick off every quote on the source passage and make sure I’ve included it, especially the ones from the end of the passage.
These tips should certainly help you write a really fabulous answer and get the marks that you need. There’s no reason at all not to aim for 8 out of 8, especially if you have tracked through your answer thoroughly.